Friday evening. It is quiet—finally. It is boy’s movie night. I live in a house full of men. They have left me alone with my thoughts. I adore my boys probably more than they can imagine. But on nights like this I miss my daughter terribly. In my mind she would have been my ally in this male world, much like I was for my mother in her house filled with men. But I am left to trust that my little girl is in a better Place. And that is where this story begins--and ends--with trust.
Several months ago I was made aware that I am surrounded by a community of friends that will help support me until the day that I am reunited with my littlest one. This most special community of women support and bolster one another during this journey through life. Our view of the world is taken from a unique perspective. Together we are brave and strong. Together is the way Christ intended us to journey.
It was made clear to me that I would travel with this pack under a special name to be given to me at a prescribed time. I am not good at waiting. In fact I am decidedly un-good at it. I knew right away that ‘Patience’ would not be my moniker—despite knowing our Lord to have a tremendous sense of humor. I worked very hard at not thinking of possible names for myself. I knew that it had to be a gift and that I couldn’t generate it on my own. Then early one morning as I was thinking about not thinking up a name for myself, the Lord put “you must trust” on my heart. Trust. At that very instant I knew that Trust was the name I would bear. Despite the fact that I found Trust to be only slightly less ironic that Patience for me, I know that Trust was mine.
I now see the world through the lens of Trust. When doubt, fear, unhappiness or anger penetrates my heart, I immediately hear “trust”. I am learning to trust—to rely on trust, to rest in trust. I am also learning to depend on my community—a group filled with mercy, peace, hope, endurance, harmony, grace and many others. I am learning to be trust for them.
Life this side of Heaven is a challenge. Traveling in a caravan, surrounded by the Holy Spirit and surrendering myself to Trust helps me to meet that challenge head-on.
I know that it is time to let go of the reins and let Trust lead me Home.
Fear not, for there are many more ‘real camel rider’ stories to be inspired and encouraged by…let your fingers travel to our blog.
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