It was the first week of November at one of our little group meetings when Julies first shared her journey of studying wells in the Bible, and her thoughts about how riding on a camel helps us to have a bigger, broader perspective on our paths of life. Reflecting on this and the question she asked me, "What view I would like to behold while seated on my camel," I did my visual "thing." I made up a poster of views that the three of us in our group would probably like to see from our camels. Of course I had to include camels in the poster. So I did an image search for camels. I put this all together on a little poster with Julie's question, "So what's the view from your camel?" in the center. Then at the bottom I felt whimsical and added, "What is your camel's name?". I thought that was silly, so I deleted it. But I was compelled to hit the undo button to cancel my deletion. And there it was. A few days later I brought copies of the poster to the two other women at our next group meeting.
Fast forward, I now was hearing about women finding the names of their camels. Of course in this little, blessed band of sisters, I came to realize that I was standing between Grace and Trust (Not a bad place to be standing--from many perspectives, I might add!), but I had NO idea what my camel's name was. Time went on, and I mean months; I still had no idea. That felt a little odd. Maybe I just wasn't on this caravan--sigh.
Well, Lent came with all of its wonderful invitations of drawing closer to our Lord, invitations to remove the wearisome layers that weigh us down. I felt challenged to focus on listening to the Lord. As the weeks progressed I saw that oftentimes I am so busy with my own ideas and agenda that I am not being attentive like I should be. I was struck through a reading with a simple truth. I am a servant, meaning that I am to be right beside the Master. I had always thought of the idea of Christ's servant as those he sent out to do something. I had never contemplated that many servants are right there to do his small, ordinary biddings. (Guess I was always thinking of the grandiose excursions the apostles were sent on.) Here was the idea that a servant might be asked simply to be close, quiet and attentive, so that all He has to do is whisper or even nod in her direction, and she would know that He wants her to pick up the rag He is glancing at, or pass Him the cup of water. He does not want a servant that He has to keep raising His voice to get her attention in order to direct her to what He wants done! That scenario would be disruptive to His own work. I rested in this new revelation, trying to be quieter within myself making it possible for me to better hear His simple requests.
Then at a choir practice, when a discussion was developed about our Lenten journeys, I mentioned I was trying to work on listening. An older friend said, "You know, listening is the essential ingredient for obedience." It really is very simple. As Mary instructed the servants at the Wedding in Cana, "Do whatever he tells you to do," I am to be quiet, patient, attentive and simply obedient. I don't have to ask why or second-guess the purpose of the request. I am the servant; I am just to do.
More Lenten reflections came. In prayer, I asked the Lord to help me truly be His obedient servant who comes to know His ways and desires so that He only has to glace at what He wants done, and I will know. I saw that to grow to be that servant, I must be following Him very closely, staying right at His side, not wandering off with my own thoughts and agendas! In that moment--four months after writing the question on the camel poster-- I knew that my camel's name is Follow. Funny thing, the next day was the first time anyone asked me what my camel's name was. I guess I am a little slower than most.
As I earnestly try to endeavor to learn to be the quiet little servant, I am quickly coming to the realization that our Master usually doesn't go to the pleasant places. After all, He came to heal the wounded. Oh, but what a privilege it is to be anywhere, as long as we are in the Master's presence.
While journeying on Follow, I am seeing that sometimes we even stop at wells, so that the Master can transform others like the Samaritan woman. As the servants, we are graced to see Him loving the broken with truth, purity and mercy. Who knows where the next stop will be with the caravan. It really isn't my concern. I just have a simple job: follow, listen and happily do.
In a sermon once, Blessed John Henry Newman said, "He does not show you whither He is leading you; you might be frightened did you see the whole prospect at once...follow His plan; look not on anxiously" because the One we follow "is supremely blessed, because He is supremely holy." -Parachial and Plain Sermons, Ignatius Press 1997
From on servant to others--blessings,
Sharon
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